


parler de jeunes

by dererin



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: First Crush, Fluff, Getting Together, Kageyama is stupid, M/M, teenage angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:21:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24196615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dererin/pseuds/dererin
Summary: it's just a crush.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Comments: 13
Kudos: 119





	parler de jeunes

it’s not just a crush. kageyama is pretty sure of this, because he’s been putting up with it for the best part of a full year. crushes go away, right? well whatever this was, it seemed like it was ready to stay. kageyama’s not sure if he’s ready for the thought of hinata in his life forever.

okay, that’s a lie.

he’s coming on seventeen, and the only things he knows for sure that he wants forever are volleyball and hinata. why? why hinata? kageyama thinks about this a lot, but then, he can’t come up with anyone else he could possibly feel for in this way. maybe it’s because hinata just goes so _well_ with him on the court. because he can spike his tosses, no matter how hard he sets the ball. maybe because of the way hinata looks when he springs up in the air, faster than the breeze that’s carrying him, as if announcing, _i’m here._

so yeah, maybe the feelings go a little deeper than a crush. whatever. nobody knows, and as long as nobody knows, he doesn’t have to acknowledge it, it doesn’t have to be a reality.

“oi. you’re staring at him again, you know. you make it too obvious. just tell him you like him already,” tsukishima says, all mild and innocent looking, but kageyama can see right through that.

more importantly, looks like tsukishima can see right through _him,_ too.

“yeah, i agree with tsukki!”

so yamaguchi can, too.

“it’s been a long time coming, man! we’re sick of watching you!” tanaka said teasingly, and okay. maybe that’s another thing kageyama hadn’t mentioned just yet.

he was lying, earlier. when he said that nobody knew. because everybody knew. _everybody_ knew, and they’d be blind if they didn’t see it. luckily for kageyama, hinata seemed to be blind.

“shut up,” kageyama glared at tsukishima for starting this chain of teasing.

“it’s okay, kageyama,” daichi grins lightheartedly, ruffling his hair, and since when had he been a part of this conversation anyway? kageyama scowls, squirming away.

“whatever,” he mumbles, turning away from his treacherous club members. what did they know? it wasn’t okay. it wasn’t okay at all, because it wasn’t just a crush, and that _wasn’t_ fun. it was no fun at all.

x x x

“ever thought about telling him?”

it was an innocent enough question, kageyama supposed, but he was sick of tsukishima and his nosy ass.

“i have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said flatly, pretending he couldn’t see the way tsukishima rolled his eyes.

but the glasses wearing piece of shit recovered quickly. “don’t be like that, kageyama-kun,” he said with a pleasant, provoking smile.

“no, you,” kageyama sighed tiredly, shoving his things into his bag. alright, something had to be said. “and if you keep rolling your eyes like that, and they’ll roll right out your eye sockets.”

“huh? that doesn’t even make sense,” tsukishima sneered, tilting his neck back in that patronising way of his, and kageyama had to remind himself that he was not a violent person.

“i knew you were dumb, _ou-sama,_ but i never knew it was to this extent,” tsukishima smiled, and oh. who was he kidding.

“hey, stop it, kageyama! no strangling teammates under my watch!” daichi yelled, before having been forced to physically peel him off tsukishima’s lanky form.

“hey, what’s going on?” hinata entered with nishinoya, peering at the compromising spectacle in front of them. kageyama jumped back and attempted to straighten his shirt out.

“nothing,” he blurted at the same time as tsukishima said, “oh, we were just talking about kageyama’s crush!”

“kageyama’s _what_?” hinata stared at them, looking confused yet amused.

“kageyama’s _nothing._ ” his hand was thwarted from side-clawing tsukishima’s voice box out by daichi’s iron grip. disgruntled, he spat, _“_ ignore that asshole, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

“or maybe he knows a little too well,” tsukishima grinned, all catlike and innocent.

“shut _up,_ ” kageyama growled, trying not to let it show that he was getting upset.

“alright, that’s enough,” daichi said, not for the first time that day, sensing that things were spiralling towards a more unpleasant territory.

“o-kay…” hinata backed away awkwardly to change. kageyama was glad for it, but he probably wouldn’t get away without questions later on.

x x x

he was right.

“kageyama, what was that back there in the clubroom? you were acting so weird,” hinata started up suspiciously now that they were alone, walking back home.

“it was nothing,” kageyama shrugged uncomfortably. he did not like this situation.

“it didn’t look like nothing, though—“

why, god, did he let himself get into the habit of walking home with hinata?

“it was, so just drop it!”

oh, right. because it wasn’t just a crush. it was _more,_ and kageyama craved his presence, despite what he outwardly claimed.

“okay, i guess…” hinata mumbled meekly, looking a little surprised at kageyama’s outburst.

he craved hinata’s presence, but not like this. the rest of the walk was a little uncomfortable, but not totally unbearable. it was just…awkward. kageyama felt so awkward, walking right next to this person that he had feelings for; a person that had almost discovered this multiple times. a person that he wasn’t allowed to like, and that he probably should _stop_ liking as soon as possible.

but hinata made that so hard, he thought frustratedly as his teammate bumped shoulders with him lightly, deliberately, as if to check that kageyama was okay.

it didn’t make it any less awkward, though, when kageyama thought to himself, _i_ ** _like_** _you._ he felt like he shouldn’t be standing next to this boy, harbouring all these feelings for him in secret, while hinata continued walking in ignorance, not knowing the way kageyama was thinking of him every second of the way. he was a liar, there was no way around it, really. he was concealing his feelings, practically taking advantage of hinata. did that make him a liar?

“hey…i don’t know what’s got you acting so weird, all of a sudden, but…you’re probably being too harsh on yourself. even if you don’t wanna tell me, at least take it easy, bakageyama,” hinata said into the night, voice deceptively lighter than he was probably feeling.

it all made kageyama feel that much worse. because here he was, trying to comfort kageyama, completely unbeknownst of the situation.

“i…thanks,” he said carefully instead, “i guess. i mean, yeah, maybe, thanks.”

there it was; hinata’s weird look again. “you know, about what tsukishima said earlier in the clubroom—“

“i don’t want to talk about it—“

“about your cru—“

“it’s not even true—“

“about your crush.” hinata finished stubbornly.

“i-it’s not…true…” kageyama hurried to tell him, flushing pink. but hinata was _looking_ at him in that way, again. he seemed to see right through kageyama’s half assed lie.

“whatever,” hinata sighed, “no need to be so defensive.” he sounded almost hurt. “i just wanted to tell you that if you were struggling or something, maybe i could—help.”

kageyama stared at him. _help?_ what did that even mean? did he want to know?

“i mean,” hinata continued obliviously, “like, i kinda get where you’re coming from.”

okay, that wasn’t right. kageyama froze uncomfortably. “what do you mean?”

hinata turned red. “like you said, jerk, it’s nothing! forget that i even asked, okay!”

he wanted to point out that he’d only said what do you mean, but he didn’t. kageyama felt like he didn’t want to know more about this supposed _crush_ of hinata’s. he didn’t need the extra confirmation that hinata couldn’t like him back, that he would eventually start liking someone. it was expected. he never thought it’d be the case. it was expected, yet still, kageyama hadn’t been prepared to hear it.

“fine, whatever.”

x x x

the first time they met, kageyama had been undoubtedly impressed with, and admittedly jealous of hinata’s natural athleticism and good reflexes. he could acknowledge a talent when he saw it. that was whatever. but he found it kind of pathetic (and kind of scary), how stupidly enthusiastic the boy was. he almost kind of hated it. he hated when someone was all bark and no bite, and hinata was all ambition and no skill, and that was just as bad. still, it had amused him just a little, how genuinely this _boy_ seemed to believe that he was capable of going to nationals and beating kageyama, so he humoured him just this once. after all, despite all that may be thought and said, at the end of the day kageyama is not cruel.

the second time they met was unexpected for him. sure, kageyama had come to think about that boy’s ridiculous optimism often, (more often than he’d like to admit, really) but he hadn’t actually expected them to meet again. he’d thought hinata was just spouting random claims out of his ass, because they had been kind of outrageous to him. kind of presumptuous. he thought that he could ever beat _kageyama? really?_

and yet, for some reason, here he was. in karasuno high school, trying out for the same volleyball club kageyama had wanted to join. and he was sort of…floored. kageyama had mentally prepared himself for the fact that this boy would be nothing but a memory, a lesson, something to smile over once he was old and successful. a person from his childhood that he’d never meet again. and yet.

hinata seemed to constantly be surpassing his expectations. right from the beginning, kageyama realised. all this time, and probably all times in future. it was only one of the reasons why kageyama was drawn to him. no, fuck that, he wasn’t just ‘drawn’ to hinata. that hardly even began to sum things up.

it was more like hinata was the only person kageyama could ever be drawn to. the least likely suspect, yet the most obvious conclusion. he was just on another level from all the people kageyama had played with. he was always just _there._ and sometimes that was annoying, but it never failed to be reassuring. kageyama was just used to his presence; had begun to count on it, even.

it was with fondness that he remembered the time hinata had aggressively babied with him. it had decidedly been an off day for kageyama. he was concentrating in classes less than usual, he had an unusually small appetite, he couldn’t even drink milk, and he kept setting tosses too hard during their lunchtime practice. obviously, hinata noticed, and he forced kageyama to lie down for the rest of their break, saying that if kageyama couldn’t play, he couldn’t play either. he made kageyama drink water and sit through half of practice before he managed to convince hinata he felt well enough to continue.

he remembered the time hinata had talked his ear off on their way to play nekoma for the first time. he’d been all nerves, babbling to kageyama about anything. and he was pretty sure hinata had forgotten all about it, but kageyama hadn’t. for some reason, he remembered all those little things hinata had blabbered about.

he remembered that time hinata almost caught him staring right at his ass. (this particular memory dominated kageyama’s nightly slideshow of his most embarrassing moments for a good several weeks, after.) it had been dreadful. hinata had just been harmlessly standing, talking to nishinoya and asahi, and yet kageyama’s terrible eyes just couldn’t look away, and then hinata was turning his head to greet him, and kageyama’s eyes just couldn’t move _upwards,_ and safe to say hinata had gotten a tad suspicious, and—

he couldn’t relive it. he just couldn’t.

(asahi and noya had almost pissed themselves laughing, after.)

the point is, kageyama remembered the little moments, and he remembered the big ones. he remembered the embarrassing ones and the awful ones. he remembered them all, thought about them so often, that he didn’t know how to stop being captivated by hinata’s presence anymore. he almost missed those days right at the beginning. at least it wasn’t like _this._ he didn’t know what ‘this’ was. it was horrible, it was all he’d ever needed.

it had been during their match with shiratorizawa that kageyama first had the thought. hinata was so…he was something, all right, he’d noted in silence, trying to put emotion into words. it was as he’d watched hinata spike the winning point that kageyama thought, _i love him._

x x x

kageyama would probably be lying if he said that he didn’t know how to feel about it. he did. he was irritatingly in goddamn stupid _love_ with an idiot. it was the worst. it was the worst, he told himself.

and yet, it sure did a good job at feeling like the best, especially when hinata turned to smile at him in that way he did. when he made that face that was reserved only for _kageyama._

the worst.

it’s fine, he reminded himself. it’s fine, i’ll get over it soon enough, and then all this ridiculous drama about who loves who will all be over.

and yet, it’s not really fine, because he tells himself this every day until he has to admit defeat and give up. maybe this feeling will go away. maybe it won’t. fuck if he knows at this point. kageyama also tells himself that he’s okay with this situation, and that he’s satisfied just by being hinata’s partner, with the knowledge that he is, for now at least, irreplaceable in hinata’s life. it’s okay, it’s good, even. it has to be. more than what he had the courage to ask for; surely more than he deserved.

kageyama told himself a lot of things, to be sure. but at the end of the day, it didn’t change anything. it didn’t somehow magically _change_ the fact that kageyama loved hinata in a less than friendly way, and it didn’t change the fact that they could never happen.

he tried not to think about it. he tried really hard not to think about it, because honestly? it was hard on his heart. but the key word here is ‘tried’, because kageyama has never successfully _stopped_ thinking about hinata, and the fantasy of there being a ‘them’ was too tempting to stay away from, so he didn’t.

which leads him to where he is now: in too deep. and as much as kageyama would absolutely love (look how low his standards have become) to say that it’s just a crush, he has absolutely lost the right to do so, at this point, because it’s just not true. he wants it to be, so his chest can feel a little less tight at the thought that they’ll be graduating and going their separate ways, and that they might text, but eventually they’ll lose touch, and never speak again, and maybe they’ll meet when they’re both thirty something, but kageyama will still be in love with him, and hinata—well—hinata will be settled down with a pretty wife and cute kids—

or maybe hinata won’t be _there_ anymore. he’ll get sick of kageyama’s impossible tosses and bad attitude. it won’t be work or distance that’d drive them apart; just kageyama. maybe some day, any day now, hinata will start hating kageyama for being himself. and that thought hurts worse than any other nightmarish future he can think up.

he tries to shake it away and tell himself it’s not true, but in the end, after waking up from a restless, sweaty slumber, he ends up fumbling with his phone and dialling before he really knew what was going on in his head.

_click._ “hello?”

ah, shit. the sound of hinata’s voice is sobering him up, waking him. this was a mistake.

“uh, hey,” he mumbled sheepishly into the phone.

“you know it’s like,” hinata yawns down the line, “two in the morning. we have school,”

“sorry,” kageyama all but whispers, “i should hang up now.”

hinata speaks before he can, “no! there’s no way you just woke me up in the middle of the night to hang up on me. that’s bullshit, kageyama.”

the boy has a point. kageyama sighs. “fine. it’s just that—i sort of had a dream—“

“oh, did you have a nightmare?” hinata’s voice is light, concerned, and kageyama can hear a dull thump and rustling of sheets as he presumably lies back down. he loves it.

“uh, sort of.” he waits for the teasing but it doesn’t come.

“what was it about?” hinata asks softly, or maybe it’s just kageyama’s stupidly hopeful imagination acting up again.

“it was about you,” he confesses.

“oh,” hinata sounds put out, “you had a bad dream because of me?”

“i didn’t mean it like that,” kageyama says hurriedly. shit.

“then how did you mean it?”

“i just…dreamt that you hated me.” he whispers to his phone. the words feel like tar on his tongue.

“oh,” hinata breaths. is it kageyama’s imagination or does he not sound as put out anymore? “i mean, that’s terrible. of course i don’t hate you, bakageyama! i can’t believe you even dreamt of that, stupid,”

“yeah,” kageyama chuckles dryly to himself. the words are nice, though. it’s nice that he gets to call hinata for reassurance. not as good as having his dumbass in the flesh, but he’ll take it any fucking day.

“i-is that all?”

“yeah, sorry.”

“no, it’s okay. i don’t really mind.”

“oh, cool.”

“yeah.”

there is a silence, but it isn’t uncomfortable. two full minutes later, hinata is the one to break it.

“hey. you know i don’t hate you, right.” it’s not a question.

“i do,” kageyama confirms uneasily. this conversation is getting kind of weird now. he doesn’t know what to do.

“i just wanted you to know. because maybe you thought so, because of the dream and stuff,” hinata says shyly. kageyama loves that, too.

“yeah, of course. thanks.” he hesitates. “i don’t hate you either. i mean, just so you know.”

hinata laughs down the line. “yup!”

“well, then…”

“yeah…”

“see you tomorrow?”

“yeah. at school. bye, kageyama,”

his phone makes a little beep to announce that hinata’s hung up.

“sweet dreams,” kageyama murmurs to nobody.

x x x

the next day, there’s a perceptible shift between them. well, even if ‘perceptible’ is a bit of a stretch.

kageyama doesn’t know how to feel about it. does he hate it, or love it, when hinata flushes pink and flinches away from his touch? and what about when he jumps about a foot in the air when kageyama says his name? the nail in the coffin, of course, is when hinata doesn’t even come out of his classroom to meet for lunch, and kageyama’s not about to act clingy by forcing him. yeah, it’s a no-brainer, of course he hates it. clearly the idiot isn’t getting all flustered (?!) because of _romantic attraction,_ or anything. kageyama’s face sours. it must be for a bad reason, then. it must be because hinata’s mad at him, and obviously, he hates that…

but still. it’s barely perceptible, as he said. so it’s not that big of a deal, honestly; if he tries hard enough he can block out the slight change in the atmosphere between them. it doesn’t even make it a difference to him, he in fact struggled to notice it in the first place. is it a big deal? absolutely not. kageyama could…he could…scoff. at the thought of that. because of how _fine_ he is with situation. in fact, he’s—he’s nothing. he’s feeling nothing right now, because of how neutral and paltry it is. hinata’s _barely_ acting any different, he reminds himself. because hinata might’ve done that either way, even if things were completely ‘normal’ between them. it’s true, kageyama’s seen hinata flustering in front of him with his very own eyes, turning all weirdly red for just a few seconds and—

oh, kageyama thinks. oh.

so hinata’s been mad at him all this time, and he’s never even thought so say anything?

_that’s_ how he’s gonna play it? fine! absolutely and fully fine! kageyama can play at that game, too. see if he fucking doesn’t.

x x x

the day after that, after skipping their usual morning race, kageyama does not speak to hinata when they meet in front of the gym. he doesn’t even _look_ at him, and go kageyama’s satisfaction, he looks pretty confused (and maybe just a tiny bit hurt).

kageyama beelines for asahi and tanaka when the team splits up for individual practice, to everyone’s surprise. tsukishima looks like he’s on the verge of saying something, too, but the terrifying aura radiating from kageyama’s murderous glare at a ten metre radius is enough to silence anyone.

hinata looks irritated, even, at this point, being the only one who had dared to approach kageyama, clinging off his arms and demanding tosses. it had all been ignored, and okay, this was about 410% harder than kageyama had originally anticipated. why was he doing this again, he asked himself, head swimming as he reluctantly shook hinata’s hands off.

oh, right. this wasn’t even his fault. _hinata_ was mad at _him,_ after all; he’s the one that started this, and he’s the only one to blame here. obviously. kageyama’s just giving him what the other boy wants, because he clearly didn’t seem to _want_ kageyama anywhere near him yesterday. it’s not just payback, it’s a kindness, he tells himself, to make this (what even is it? a fall out? no, they didn’t do fall outs! not like this) feel a little less wrong.

“kageyama! heeey, kageyama-kun, why aren’t you answering!” hinata had huffed, stomping his foot in sheer frustration, and kageyama had to turn away, having been at the risk of hugging him in apology. if he’d stayed to look at hinata, he would probably have noticed the tears welling in his eyes.

he refuses to let up during lunchtime, too, because how convenient that hinata has suddenly recovered from his fit of plain awkwardness yesterday now that kageyama’s giving him similar treatment. he tells himself that he doesn’t need to be quite so cold, that he’s probably being a bit petty and ridiculous, because it’s not hinata’s fault (not actually) that he doesn’t return kageyama’s feelings. (yeah, he is at least self aware, thanks.) it’s just so easy to be resentful now that he’s started, because no matter how poetically the novels put it, unrequited love is _not nice,_ it’s not _fun,_ and it’s not _beautiful._ it’s ugly; it brings out nothing but kageyama’s ugly side, and he hates it, so he’s allowed to feel this way; act this way—right?

yeah, probably wrong, the back of his mind pipes up helpfully, and kageyama slams his forehead hard down onto his desk, arousing severely confused and creeped out looks from his classmates. he doesn’t care.

x x x

so, turns out things _can_ get worse.

it’s all good, really, he tries to remind himself, but the words are no use. there’s no other way to put it; he hasn’t spoken to hinata for five days now after their night time conversation on the phone. hinata hasn’t even really tried to reach out, and kageyama is too prideful to admit the stupidity of his own actions, and god _damn_ it; he’s probably going into withdrawal. hinata-withdrawal, he supposes, and it’s all so fucking stupid. he tries to remind himself of what exactly he was trying to achieve here, but he comes up with nothing, which makes him feel even worse.

hinata was mad at him, right? that was what had happened, right? with the way he’d bounced so easily back to normal, kageyama’s not even sure anymore. but what other explanation even was there? he’d only come up with this conclusion after wracking his brains for another and finding nothing! and since hinata had been keeping his mad-ness a secret this whole time, kageyama thought that warranted _him_ being mad at hinata in retaliation. because that… _was_ what was going on here.

except, when they haven’t spoken for a full six days now, kageyama’s considering caving. fuck pride. pride didn’t know what it felt like to be conscious of every second passing by wastefully, god damn it all!

what is he supposed to even do? demand an explanation? apologise? act like nothing out of the ordinary has happened? maybe the words will come to him as they must.

okay that was a fully stupid idea that kageyama’s not ready for, he thinks, listening to the line ring into nerve wracking silence. until, finally:

“hello?”

shit. hinata’s voice in his ear is so…nice. he cranks up the volume to max.

“um. hi,” kageyama whispers, extremely sheepish. this could be a disaster just waiting to happen.

“kageyama,” hinata says, and he can hear the scowl in his voice. shit, did he mess up?

“why are you calling me?” he doesn’t sound angry, just genuinely confused. but—not happy. kageyama deflates a little, and has to remind himself that he hadn’t _really_ been hoping for something so unrealistic.

“no reason,” kageyama says hurriedly after realising he’d been silent for too long, “just wanted to—talk?” he winces at the way his pitch rises nervously. why had he even said that just now? god, he sounded so stupid!

“talk,” hinata replies flatly, quietly incredulous. “you haven’t wanted to talk to me for almost a week.”

kageyama winces, forgetting that hinata can’t see him. the shorter boy’s voice is steadily rising now. “actually, fuck that, you jerk, you’ve been outright _ignoring_ me for a week!”

six days, kageyama didn’t say. (what kind of idiot counts that, right?)

“sorry, i guess,”

“well, you don’t _sound_ very sorry,” hinata says hotly, “i’ve been trying to ignore it because you promised you _didn’t_ hate me, when you called me in the middle of the night last week, so i figured you just need some time alone from _m-me,_ for some reason, but as i thought, i still don’t like this! you didn’t have to be so mean, only to me…” he trails off with a shaky exhale.

kageyama’s shoulders tense. had he really been holding all that emotion in all by himself? he felt…guilty. “i…but—but then why did you act so weird on monday?”

“well!” hinata yelps, “that! uh, i…i wasn’t mad at you or anything! that was a different thing, and it’s totally _different,_ and at least i spoke to you, you jerk! ugh, why do i even like an asshole like you again?”

kageyama froze. “um, _hinata-kun_ …what did you say?”

“n-no!” hinata sounded like he was flailing his arms about down the line, all flustered again. somehow, it filled kageyama with a warm, solid feeling. “that’s—i meant why am i, like friends with you! yeah, why do i even like you as a friend?”

“oh,” kageyama felt himself deflate a little, “yeah, obviously.”

“obviously?” hinata asked confusedly.

“i meant—never mind,” kageyama shook his head, “so that means…you weren’t mad at me?”

“what? of course not! why would i be?” hinata was sounding more befuddled by the second.

meanwhile, kageyama was struggling with a much worse mental conundrum. if hinata wasn’t mad at him, then what else could possibly—

“hold on. i’m coming to your house,” kageyama said flatly, and hung up, not even bothering to wait for hinata’s indignant yelling.

because he had been so, _so_ stupid. (probably. if kageyama was wrong about this, then, well…he won’t be able to say he didn’t see that coming, either.) tsukishima had been right (probably). he was even stupider than anyone had thought, to miss this, kageyama berated himself as he practically sprinted to hinata’s door. it took him a while, but he convinced his aching body it was good cardio, and the thought of finally, _finally_ seeing hinata won over completely, spurring him on, and then, all too fast, kageyama was standing at the gate of his home.

he pulled his phone out of his pockets with shaking hands and clicked on hinata’s contact.

“kageyama?!” came the frantic voice. “thank god! why’d you even hang up, huh, jerk? i thought you were actually going to come here!”

kageyama pulled his phone away from his ear to see the five missed calls he’d gotten from hinata. his lips quirked up. “um. look out your window.”

“what the heck,” hinata murmured breathlessly amid the sound of rustling and footsteps, “you actually came? _why?_ it’s kind of late…what’s going on with you, kageyama?”

he didn’t answer, watching hinata come out the front door to meet him halfway. “hey,” he said, finally clicking _end call._ his veins had been throbbing with excitement, before, but now, he felt nervous enough to throw up. the feeling was strangely grounding.

“hey,” hinata answered, face looking a bit more flushed than the weather called for, and oh god, this was it wasn’t it. this was their make or break moment. this was the part when kageyama revealed his feelings, every shameful and secret part of them (okay, maybe not _every_ part quite so soon), and risked it all to see if his hunch was correct.

“uh, i,” kageyama stammered, much to hinata’s amusement, and this was the part where he was supposed to _speak!_ but for some reason both his mouth and his brain seemed to be failing him, so he did the only thing his internal self had been screaming out for ever since he’d laid eyes on hinata. he kissed him.

that’s right, he leaned down all slow like they did in the movies, and he. _kissed._ hinata.

without any permission, without so much as a word of warning, and oh _lord,_ hinata was kissing him back. at this point, kageyama’s brain had long since abandoned him, leaving him feeling all dazed and fried while tightly clutching onto hinata and kissing him as if they wouldn’t live to see tomorrow.

it wasn’t exactly a miracle kiss; neither of them had any experience, but it was hinata, and it felt so right and nice that kageyama couldn’t really find a single fault in it.

but then, too soon, he remembered where they were and what was happening, and he jerked away. “s-sorry!”

the word came out awkward and too quiet from kageyama’s numb lips. numb…from the kissing. because hinata kissed not freaking _softly._ wow. wow.

“what?” hinata frowned lazily, “why are you sorry?” there was a pause. “uh, i meant, uh—“

“i really like you,” kageyama said, pained. “like, not as a friend.”

“oh,” hinata exhaled. it seemed like the breath had been knocked right out of him. kageyama bit his lip.

“okay, no, that’s not right, sorry. i lied, i don’t just like you,” he conceded, heart hammering at a million miles per hour, watching hinata’s face twist in a worried sort of puzzlement, “i _love_ you. as not just a friend.”

_“oh,”_ hinata chocked again, and kageyama scowled, because didn’t the boy have anything else to say? he’d just confessed his love for him, for god’s sake, so excuse him for expecting a little something more expressive, he thought sourly. but whatever. he’d signed up for any outcome.

“kageyama,” hinata whispered, face slowly blooming into a picture of absolute joy, “do you really mean that?”

“of course! why would i say that if i didn’t mean it!” kageyama barked frustratedly.

“good!” hinata suddenly went to tuck his face right into his chest, as low as he could manage without having to crouch. he seemed to be—inhaling, face squished against kageyama’s pectoral muscles. weird. “that’s so…good…” he trailed off dreamily, arms now tightly latching around kageyama’s neck.

“oh, that’s um, good,” kageyama said mostly to himself, as hinata clearly wasn’t listening anymore. he licked his lips uncertainly. this definitely _felt_ like a good outcome, he thought.

“i love you, too,” hinata said into his chest after a good couple of minutes. “if that wasn’t obvious enough,” he sniffed as an afterthought.

kageyama jerked him back. “you do,” he said, slack jawed.

“i do,” hinata repeated affirmatively, lacing their fingers without him even noticing.

“you do!” kageyama yelled maybe a little too loud, but that didn’t matter, because he was grinning now, and hinata was grinning right back at him.

“yep!” he said excitedly, already trying to latch onto kageyama and climb him.

“calm down, stupid,” kageyama said absently, though he couldn’t keep the stupid smile off his face. and then, “hey! i was _way_ more obvious than you!”

hinata paused, one hand on kageyama’s waist. “no way, _i_ was,” he insisted.

“yeah? i bet nobody even knew,” kageyama goaded (though he would never understand why he’d set himself up for humiliation like this).

“not true,” hinata defended indignantly, “i told yachi and noya-senpai.” he hesitated. “and then yamaguchi found out too. but whatever.” they both knew hinata was less than stellar at keeping secrets, but this time around, somehow, he’d managed to keep it sort of almost discreet. unlike another person they both knew.

“well,” kageyama rumbled, smiling scarily. “guess how many people knew about me? i dare you, guess!”

“uh,” hinata frowned, so far unfazed, “how should i know?”

“everyone,” kageyama said, slightly hysterical, “everyone. and i didn’t even _tell_ any of them. they just. knew.”

“wow,” hinata admired, “guess you got me beat there.” he snickered. “guess poor kageyama-kun just couldn’t hide his love for none other than this hinata shouyou!”

“yeah, pretty much,” he allowed, watching in satisfaction as hinata’s mouth opened despite itself and he blushed.

“stupid kageyama, you’re so sappy,” he complained.

“you said it first, not me,” kageyama told him, amused. weird how he’d suddenly forsaken his shame. he couldn’t say he missed it, though, after all the trouble it had caused.

hinata was doing that thing where he’d glare and pout, and they would both pretend he meant it. kageyama gave him a kiss for his troubles, just because he could. it was an immensely satisfying feeling to say the least.

and to say the most—well, he wouldn’t want to go on about the comforting way hinata smelled, or how hot and soft his mouth was, or how breathless they both were, for too long. 

because the thing is, with hinata, kageyama’s hunches had never been wrong.

x x x

“i can’t believe you thought i was mad at you,” hinata snorted.

“yes, and that’s the fourth time you’ve said it,” kageyama said tersely, though his fingers curled tighter around hinata’s hip. the shorter boy scooted closer to lean his head on kageyama’s shoulder. it was good.

“god, stop being so mushy in front of everyone,” tanaka whined pitifully.

“please, our virgin hearts can’t take it,” tsukishima said, sounding suspiciously pleasant (read: concerning), even as yamaguchi clung onto his arm.

“i think it’s cute,” the freckled boy said, giving hinata a look. hinata flushed and glared up at him, but he didn’t move from his spot on the wooden gym floor, leaned up against the wall and pressed closely against kageyama.

“it’s so hot, how are you two even doing that?” nishinoya eyed them incredulously.

“young love finds a way,” tsukishima told him, infamously rolling his eyes at the couple.

hinata hissed at him like some sort of startled animal, and kageyama had to forcibly stop a smile of his own from traitorously creeping up onto his features. this was nice, he thought, leaning into hinata. it was like he couldn’t ever get close enough, no matter how hard he tried.

“oh, you’re trying pretty hard, i’ll give you that,” said sugawara, almost in tears from trying not to laugh, and, fuck. kageyama had said that out loud. why was his life a shitty shoujo manga?!

“kageyama-kun, you’re so sappy,” hinata crooned, tickling the underside of his chin, ignoring the way kageyama tried to bite his fingers off in irritation.

“shut up,” he grumbled, having given up on further resistance when hinata refused to stop tickling him, “okay, that’s, hah, that’s enough!” but it was too late, and he was grinning, squirming, with hinata now on his lap, laughing while planting loud wet kisses all over every inch of kageyama’s skin that he had access to, much to the utter disgust of everyone else in the gym.

maybe they were only sixteen, and maybe kageyama was stupid. (he was definitely stupid.) but he absolutely didn’t care; couldn’t care less, because he knew that he was never letting hinata go. he was never letting this feeling get away.

they were good, they were great.

**Author's Note:**

> this might have come out a bit weird, with my novice writing skills, but i hope you had fun reading!


End file.
